May 10/Stamp. Fiber. Mercy.

I’ve reached the Gewerbeanmeldung (business registration) stage. It’s like a rite of passage, except instead of a cool mask and a spear, you get a form that asks you to define your business activities in a way that doesn't trigger a tax investigation.

I spent four hours toggling between forums dedicated to Kleingewerbe (small business) rules and questioning if I should hire a tax consultant who charges €200 an hour, or just walk into the local Finanzamt and hope for a clerk having a good day. It’s a classic dilemma: pay for professional security or rely on the mercy of a civil servant who has the power to define my life’s work as a "hobby" rather than a business.

I’ve decided to be charming. I’m going to go in on Tuesday, wearing my least threatening sweater, hoping that if I treat them like the gatekeepers of my future, they might help me navigate the minefield of VAT registration. Anja says I should stop overthinking it and just sign the papers, but she doesn't understand—the bureaucracy here is a living, breathing beast. One wrong box ticked and I’ll be paying taxes on my own thoughts for the next decade.