May 15/Titan. Pen. Authority.

I have decided I am a titan of industry. This decision required no evidence and cost nothing.

To mark the occasion I bought a fountain pen. A proper one, with weight — the kind that makes a signature feel like a statement rather than a formality. Anja picked it up, tested it on the back of an envelope, and asked: 'Does the pen make the money move faster?' I said it improves my signature authority. She set it down carefully, the way you set down something fragile belonging to a person you have chosen not to argue with today.

She's worried I'm living in a fantasy world. She may be partially right. But it is a well-organised fantasy world, and the pen really is very good.

Klaus texted: 'Love the fountain pen energy. Very 1987 ad exec.' I sent him a photo of the first paid invoice. He replied with a single thumbs up. From Klaus, that is a standing ovation.