May 13/Systemic. Refreshment. €3.

The architecture firm has asked me back for a paid day. They don't know what to call my title so they've listed me on the invoice as Systemic Refreshment Consultant.

I am officially a consultant. It sounds like someone who adjusts the mineral content at a spa, but the word is there in writing, and I intend to use it.

I earned €250. After tax, the U-Bahn, the lunch I bought because I was too anxious to eat breakfast, and the psychological cost of performing professionalism for eight consecutive hours, my effective hourly rate works out to approximately €3.20. I am choosing to call this a foundation rather than a wage.

I sent my mother a photograph of the invoice. She zoomed in on the title. 'Systemic Refreshment,' she read. 'Is that like a dietitian?' I said it was closer to a consultant. She said Stefan had just been given a company gym membership. I said that was very good for Stefan.