May 8/Velocity. Staples. Purge.
Marcus still thinks we're talking about output metrics, but I'm busy deciding which parts of this company's bloated soul no longer spark joy.
— from the desk, with coffee ☕Still employed. Still staring at the same spreadsheet that measures "Synergy Velocity" or whatever nonsense the quarterly offsite was about. My boss, Marcus, asked me if I’ve "optimized my output flow" today. I told him I’m currently batching my existential dread to save time for focused work later. He gave me that smile that suggests he’s either impressed or calling HR as soon as I leave the room.
The secret project—The Gentle Nudge—is officially a thing. It’s not software (the world has enough half-baked SaaS apps, thank you) and it’s not life coaching (I’m not qualified to tell myself how to live, let alone a stranger). It’s basically specialized, high-end professional decluttering for mid-sized firms that have lost their way. I’m going to be the Marie Kondo of corporate processes. Does it spark joy? No. Does it stop your procurement department from buying staplers from the 1990s? Yes.