April 5/Algorithm. Jitters. Debt.

Disaster. I attempted to automate my email outreach using the tool everyone is raving about, and I managed to send a high-priority 'Let's Declutter Your Wasteful Workflow' pitch to my own boss.

He didn't fire me. He stopped by my desk and asked if the email was a 'subtle critique' of the department's recent budget allocation. I went into full Employee Mode — nodding, blinking, performing the corporate equivalent of a judo breakfall: absorb the force, show no pain, get vertical quickly. I told him I was testing a productivity app to better serve internal efficiency.

He seemed satisfied. Now I have to produce an efficiency report by Friday. I'm staring at a blank document.

Klaus texted: 'Heard you cold-pitched Marcus. Bold.' I genuinely don't know how he finds these things out. He has the situational awareness of a man who is always standing slightly behind you at a party.