April 13/Stamp. Mask. Regulation.

Success. I think.

The Finanzamt clerk was surprisingly helpful once I dropped the Professional Business Consultant mask and said: 'Look, I'm just trying to help small firms fix their filing systems without losing their minds.'

She gave me a long, weary look — the look of someone who has processed ten thousand disruptors — and handed me a stamp. 'It is very brave to be a solopreneur here,' she said, somewhere between pity and warning. 'Most people prefer the safety of a standard contract. You've opted for the Kleinunternehmerregelung, so no VAT on your invoices. Simple.'

I nodded sagely, as if I hadn't spent the entire train ride debating whether to register for VAT just to reclaim the tax on my new laptop. I walked out into the Berlin sunshine feeling like a man who had navigated the first circle of tax hell without catching fire.

I called my mother. She asked if the Kleinunternehmerregelung meant I was officially unemployed. I said no. She said she'd light another candle.